PBOT Visits My Neighborhood…
I was out on my front porch the other day, taking the corpse of last night’s wine out to the glass recycling bin, when I noticed a “City That Works” car (electric, natch) parked on the street.
I cannot say it was at the curb—or, for that matter, not on a city street (we’ll get to that)—but it was out there. Never a good sign.
Like a clown-car in a circus, three people clambered out. Two of them were dressed in a weirdly military-looking PBOT uniform; the other in what might best be called needs-a-trip-to-the-laudromat. They fanned out and began peering into the autos across the dusty expanse of gravel and bare dirt.1
I strolled over and inquired “whassup?” The paramilitaries went about their work, which involved scannning VIN numbers with a handheld instrument, followed by the issuance of bright yellow (never a good color in Portland) tickets under the windshields of two vehicles across the street.
“How come?” resulted in an answer.
“They’re parked the wrong way,” said the evident leader. His companion looked, to my eye, a trifle embarrassed and gave me a little shrug.
I reminded the trio that this was the first interest the city of Portland had expressed in my “street”2 since they had run a road-grader up and down it—no fresh gravel—as part of ex-Councilperson Jo Ann Hardesty’s bright idea a couple of years ago.
The city’s website bragged, if that’s the right word for it…
Portland has over 50 miles of gravel streets which are not maintained by the city. As a result, these streets are in bad shape, with large potholes and ruts. The Portland Bureau of Transportation (PBOT) launched its Gravel Street Service as a cost-effective, short-term solution to help all those community members who have asked us to improve the condition of the gravel road they live on. This service is FREE for residents and funded by Fixing Our Streets.
…which means that it’s not really “free,” if you happen to pay any city taxes. But you get the idea.
PS: After the cursory grading the first pothole reappeared within a week.
But back to my “street.” The PBOT paramilitary revealed that the tickets would cost the owners $55 apiece. Bidding me to have a nice day, the clowns clambered back into the city’s electrocar. (A friend who lives a few blocks away says the trio has been roaming around—this time on paved streets—tickets blooming like daffodils in spring.)
This left me to ponder the strange ways of PBOT. Over on 82d, they are applying oodles of paint and medians, and other road-candy (plus cameras that will robotically issue tickets to people crowding the yellow lights) at the cost of $-zillions, while the city’s accident death-rate continues to increase.
I wondered if any of our public servants had any thoughts about this—three guys writing tickets???—and so I dispatched a letter to the mayor, who not long ago seized control of PBOT, and councilman Mingus Mapps, from whom PBOT was seized, and all of the announced candidates in my new council district Numero Uno.
No one responded…except for two little-mentioned candidates. Funny how running for office loosens the tongue.
Cayle Tern3 likened what happened on my street to a weird kerfluffle over a Pho restaurant that got closed because of “smell complaints.” He added…
Whatever it may be, PBOT is lacking, our streets are unmaintained, there isn't proper signage in many of our streets, and enforcement of city ordinances appears to depend on the mood of the worker. This has to change.
How to accomplish that? We’ll have to wait until Mr. Tern gets elected to find out.
Thomas Shervey4 also responded (no campaign website, but he’s mentioned in a Portland Mercury summary of District 1 candidates)…
It doesn't make sense to me to fine folks while failing to improve the situation for so long. You can't double dip like that. It's definitely not my area of expertise, but if elected, I would definitely want to reevaluate and fix how unimproved streets are paid for.
The other heavyweights in the District 1 race—Candace Avalos, our old friend Terrence Hayes, David Linn, etc.—most of whom either come from nonprofitland, lobbying, or city government (ie., the same old gang), didn’t respond. Nor did Mapps. Nor did any of the mayor’s many satraps.
This doesn’t bode well, since the new councilors will only have one paid staff position under the new charter (by contrast Council member Mapps has a staff of seven). The city recommends that new councilors tell their constituent to call 311, as we revealed here. No kidding.
Which brings us to the next item of trivia…
PBOT Gets Set to Scoot…Seated!
Easily one of the most obnoxious, risky, Gen Z-stupid modes of transportation are the scooters and public bikes that regularly appear, like abandoned waifs, dumped under bushes and cluttering up sidewalks around town. When they’re not being driven recklessly, darting in and out of traffic, usually piloted by some young thing sans helmet or much in the way of clothing that might be termed protective (or even polite). Such fun!
Until you damn near run over one of the frisky types, an encounter that leaves one considering the physical impact (“Hi, honey, I killed someone today”) plus the various legal, insurance, even employment consequences.
No problem! They got a car off the street…maybe.
PBOT sent out a newsletter recently, proof that the broke agency only understands doubling-down…
…with the usual lineup of grinning bureaucrats, nonprofit cut-outs, and people who’re gonna make a ton of money from city contracts (always a sign the fix is in)…
…including, over there on the right, none other than Sarah Iannarone, Executive Director of The Street Trust. Remember her?
She ran twice for Portland mayor—the last time around parading at campaign events in a skirt illustrated with pictures of Communist martyrs and came within a whisker of upsetting Mayor Wheeler.
A classic Portland matchup—the Commie vs. the Trust Baby.
Her consolation prize was the Streets job; her new employers boasted that she had…
…the global expertise, commitment to equity, and passion for the work these times demand.
No mention of potholes. Or gravel, for that matter.
But the six folks who brought seated (ie, faster) scooters to our streets made it sound—as usual in progressive bamboozles—like some kind of social uplift. As for all that clutter of abandoned bikes (one fun thing seems to involve tossing the damn things into the river) there was one fascinating aside buried deep in the self-congratulation…
A new locking requirement will make sure every e-scooter has a built-in locking mechanism. All e-scooter riders will be required to end their trip by locking the device to a bike rack, signpost or BIKETOWN station (BIKETOWN scooters only). This should reduce the instances of scooters blocking sidewalks or corner ramps. A public information campaign and centralized dispatch number will make it easy for the public to report e-scooters that are blocking the sidewalks.
You can’t make this stuff up. A puh-leez! Do not recall any other Portland “public information” campaigns…certainly not this one…
…followed with this one that might be best termed surreal…
…all of which is designed to lull the mopes (who, unnfortunately, vote) into thhe slumber of the innocent…until the bloated ballot arrives.
Then it’ll get really weird.
How They Stack the Deck…
As our favorite blogger, Jack Bogdanski, observes…
The crack between the governments of the City of Portland and Multnomah County is wide and deep. Sadly, the livability of the city has fallen into that crack and can't get out.
…a prime tenant in that crack is the Joint Office of Homeless Services (who we last met here, here, and here), busy spending uncountable $-millions and building what now looks like a bureaucracy that will still be here long after the feral slink back to whence they came from (although San Francisco, now giving dopers bus tickets out of town, will probably keep us well-supplied).
Like everything else in the progressive machine, the bureaucrats like to use citizen “commissions” (powerless, of course) to hide behind. Hence, JOHS sent ouut this little plea for cover…
…but, wouldn’t ya know, there’s always the fine print.
The “steering committee” will be selected (how? by who? don’t bother asking) based on these few criteria…
…including but not limited to people with lived experience of homelessness, and people representing related industries and sectors, including members of the business community, labor group reps, homeless service providers, affordable housing providers, street outreach/navigation team members, health care providers, and more.
Note that brief flash of the kimono—”related industries.”
Who’s missing? How about…
…people forced to live in homeless-impacted neighborhoods, cops or firemen who have to give repetitive Narcan shots, owners of businesses under seige, Kevin Dahlgren and Tara Faul—whose work has keep the homeless issue visible, human, and compelling5.
The Community Advisory Committee—should you be dumb enough to apply—is made up of the politicians whose inaction and gutlessness created the problem. They’ll get to vote, the advisors won’t. And they’ll have to be…
The line starts forming at the door marked “Patronage.” Be the first on your block. Or, better yet, call 311.
Why did I choose to live on my 40 feet of gravel? Recall the hysterical real estate market in 2014 for a hint.
The city’s official position on paving its gravel streets is: “It has been and remains the policy of the City of Portland that streets are constructed at the expense of abutting property owners and are maintained by abutting property owners until street improvements are constructed to the applicable standards of, and accepted for maintenance by, the City. Until a street improvement has been constructed to City standards and the City has expressly assumed responsibility for street maintenance, it is the exclusive duty of the abutting property owners to construct, reconstruct, repair and maintain the nonmaintained street in a condition reasonably safe for the uses that are made of the street and adjoining properties. Streets that have not been improved to City standards are not and will not be maintained or improved at City expense, except at the discretion of the City and as provided in this Code and the City Charter.” So there.
Tern is a nonprofiteer (APANO’s civic engagement manager), whose website says, “As a member of a marginalized community, I understand first hand about the impacts of being underserved and underrepresented.” Short version: “If you’re ‘overrepresented,’ watch out below!
Shervey currently is on the Multnomah County payroll at the Department of Community Justice.
Once again we wonder when the Portland Museum of Art will give them a show? The duo is doing work on a par with Altgeld and the FSA depression-era photographers. And didn’t the PMA give a big, fat show to artists of color who valorized the summer of riots that ended Portland’s national reputation—and more than a few businesses down.
Excellent commentary, Richard, on City Hall’s priorities — making money off citizens who appear to have any kind of income.
Since I knew you were looking into this issue, when I went downtown Saturday, I was very careful about where and how I parked.
Normally I take the bus downtown, but since my first stop was at the PSU Farmer’s Market I drove. The temporary signs along 4th near Harrison are confusing and warn of being towed. I found a safe place to park, but while paying for the parking it occurred to me that perhaps I needed to be closer to the curb —just to be safe. The city is probably looking for any reason to ticket drivers. I got back in my car and maneuvered as close as I could to the curb.
OK, so I went to the Farmer’s Market and did my part to support the farmers (including $13 for four peaches) and returned to my car where I found a fellow standing nearby. He looked quizzical.
“Is it safe to park here?” he asked me.
“Well, I’m parked here, and they didn’t do anything to me.”
“I’m kind of paranoid,” he said.
“Not a bad way to be in Portland — paranoid.”
He laughed. I got in my car and headed to the Central Library. I parked on the south side of the building where four men who looked to be in their 20’s and 30’s were lounging and scratching amid garbage strewn on the sidewalk and on the stone benches honoring writers. Two other guys stretched out, apparently asleep.
While at the parking kiosk, this time I noticed that my front tire was touching the yellow strip painted on the curb. Another possible ticket? I returned to my car and backed up slightly.
On my way into the library, there in front of the stone bench honoring George Eliot somebody had painted in large, black letters: STOLEN LAND.
The deadbeats who littered and vandalized the library don’t have to worry about tickets. They don’t even have to worry that they will ordered to serve on a cleanup crew. The city will do nothing to discommode them.
Instead, the city will go after your neighbors and make the rest of us paranoid.